Well here it is: my humble home. I’m sorry it’s messy. I may have found a place for my car over the winter; I found a garage sale in an alley right next to my house that looked like it didn’t have any cars in it and I put my number down for a possible garage spot. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?!
I used Grandma Mary’s beaters from the 70s today. We made the cookies that she sent. I’m super domestic, I am realizing. I love to cook and just hang out around the house. It’s nice. We’ve made steak and mashed potatoes, salads, corn, cookies, bagels…everything. There’s a sense of organization to it all, it’s gradually coming together.
We stole the boys’ Mr. Potato Head (a.k.a. Spider Spud) and have been sending ransom notes all day via picture message. I may upload them at some point because they are clever.
We start school tomorrow. I only have one class tomorrow, Ballet.

We finished cleaning, scrubbing, mopping, sweeping, slowly doing the dishes, dusting, packing, putting all of it away and then we sat down for a second and admired our work. It looked nearly the exact same as it had before the cleaning had begun.
We broiled steaks and made salad and mashed potatoes, Fredie would be proud because we didn’t even use the instant ones.
Cookies and milk followed with a favorite tv show. And now preparations are underway to embrace the night, merriment and friends, hopefully new friends too, a Loyola party with old Loyola friends.
I switched my classes around for the simple selfish reason that I want to have no classes on Fridays. And so it is that way. I will post it later; it seems impossible and none of them are regular classes, they switch days and times and float around and it feels like I’ll never know exactly when I need to be somewhere.
The phone has been ringing nonstop. I get the reason behind the no-call list now.
All is quiet.
I am exhausted, life is something best lived at full throttle yet it’s always a pleasure to just sit and be.

We made a large Costco run. No going to the store for anything except milk, eggs, bread and fruit until all of it is gone.
We’ll see how long that takes.

Peace to all.

Also, I am probably a better parallel parker than you. There was a bad day that involved me bumping three cars and since then, it has just happened beautifully. Emily gets out and guides and when I step out there are mere inches between me and both the cars that I am sandwiched between and there has been no impact. It’s amazing. Self-esteem boosting, oddly enough.

Fruitypants is at college. And too busy to call me back. But I’m excited for him. I cried for a second last night because Mom is all alone and Mike is all alone and I am too, sort of.

I had my interview at the cupcake store today, and I think it went well. They told me that they’d pass along the word that they liked me. I was funny and charming and attractive, but not too much. Hopefully, I will be great counter help.
Also, I heard back from a Craigslist ad that I posted asking the community if they needed a babysitter, so that is looking promising.
My computer has viruses, so that’ll be exciting. It shuts down every now and then in an attempt to save its data.
Awesome.
Life is strange.

I have an interview tomorrow at a cupcake store tomorrow at noon, so let’s hope that it goes well. I don’t know what to wear. Probably a skirt of some sort. It’s downtown, so I guess I should expect a posh cupcake store? In the email that I sent them offering myself as a cupcake servant, I said: “I’m not sure if this is a plus, but I enjoy cupcakes.” Which will hopefully be rewarded. This is my first official job interview in four years, well, technically forever.
I’ve been sending emails out left and right about getting other jobs, one being a recycling intern, crisis hotline worker, morning student supervisor, Jewish library assistant. Who knows what will come of this.
The mattress and frame arrived today, sans box spring.
The cleaning is never done, the room is not organized, nothing is together, but that’s fine.
First laundry experience might happen today. But I need quarters.

And everything is alright again, in one swift motion, or perhaps a pretty afternoon. I sat with an old friend on the balcony and looked around and realized that life is like this. It’s strange and terrifying and absolutely wonderful.
Last night, Emily and I watched a foreign movie and just talked about everything. It was comforting.
I went to sleep and slept well. Things still aren’t together, and that’s alright. It doesn’t have to happen today, or even tomorrow. It can happen whenever; it’s not going away.
I walked outside my building today and saw what looked like a large sign of garage sales. Families, selling nothing worth having, really. It was sad and thrilling at the same time. To know that three stories below me someone else is trying to make a life and is only hoping to succeed in supplementing their income is a sad thing, but strangely exciting at the same time. You don’t see that at home. It’s strange to be in such a different place culturally all the time without having to leave the city. It’s a cluster of different neighborhoods, different ethnicities, different mentalities, different values and ideals, but it’s home. It’s Chicago.

Being here is hard for me, for some reason. I’m alone, again, even though I have Emily. I miss home, Denver, Danny, Mom.
It’s a challenge, something I certainly wasn’t expecting. I’ve been thrown off, completely. My days are empty. I’m exhausted all the time. I’m finally eating again, which is probably a good thing. I find myself disconnected.
It’s going to be rough, starting this whole life thing all over again.
Maybe once school starts, things will settle down a little bit.
Every year gets harder; I have no idea why. There’s nothing left for me in Denver, really. What would I do? Stay at Dairy Queen and let my chances at life bleed to death? No, please, not that.
I’ll stay here and take my chances.
The ending of the relationship is something I never thought I’d have to take to heart; I never am the one that gets hurt, but this time, I can’t even comprehend it. I’ll take my time, and let myself be alone and comfortable with that, but if things don’t start to get better, I can always get back together with him.
I’m going to concentrate on school, concentrate on trying to form new friendships (yikes!), and then try and let things fall into place.
I just can’t force my life to happen, and for now, it’s in a lull and I think the lesson here is that I have to be okay with that. I have to be self-sufficient and capable of being alone, facing long hours by myself. I can do that. I can work on the things that are wrong with me. I can be a better person. I can try and be social, try and meet new people and do new things. I can do all of this, given the opportunity.
I need to find a job.
I need a day with no tears.
I’ll be alright, I think.
There’s no turning back, not now. We’re too far in.

Sally Mulqueen’s favorite color is yellow. She crochets blankets in her spare time to help children (and niece and nephews, as well). She drives a white Toyota Avalon, digs hiking and pictures of wildflowers and gets along with Fruitypants (remarkably).
Tomorrow is her birthday. On her calendar that hangs on the side of her refrigerator there is a little thing that you should do each day. Some days it’s smile, or do something you love, or cook a good meal, but tomorrow it should say: Call Aunt Sally and tell her that you love her.
I wouldn’t be here (in my beautiful and slightly strange Chicago apartment) without all of the work that she does to help me and Mike. Aunt Sally, thank you.

One time, at Chili’s on State street…..
Aunt Sally, this pico de gallo is for you.
Happy Birthday!

Safe in St. Louis.
Leaving early tomorrow (7am) for Chicago.
Will let you know as soon as I get internet set up how things are.
Mike and Mom are in Omaha.
Love.

I couldn’t have these wonderful adventures if it wasn’t for the people around me that genuinely care about what I’m doing.
Getting coffee the other day, the barista asked me when I was leaving and told me he’d miss me. At the good old DQ (which I am done with, by the way!!), customers wished me well and told me they’d miss me.
I’ve got three sets of grandparents: Grandma Mary, Grandpa Joe and Grandma Al, Juanita and Marshall to make sure things go okay.
I’ve got Aunt Sally helping to figure out all of the Loyola payment issues.
Fruitypants is the hired muscle. (I can’t really think of anything else….just kidding, I’ll miss him a little too)
Dad bought me a bike rack.
Mom and I have done the packing thing, we’ve been to Target, to Costco, everywhere.
The people that I babysit for gave me extra money that they most definitely did not need to give me because they wanted me to do well and they appreciate that they can leave their kids with me and not have to worry. (The fact that they are super right wing makes this even better because it shows that it’s not just the liberals that dig me.)
I never realized how awesome it is to be able to have a dessert party or a dinner with family. A lot of people don’t get to do that all the time, yet even at school, I”m reminded that people care with little packages, usually containing baked goods, usually around finals. (Aunt Sally, that one’s all you).
Mom even gets around to doing stuff like that, sending me the highly anticipated Birkenstocks and not telling me that they were in the mail so I would be surprised.
It’s little things, a card from Grandma Mary with a little saying that she found on the internet or something.
Uncle Mike and Brian “hauled” me (and my stuff) out to Chicago, making a crazy road trip and I’ll never forget that.
Aunt Jan is always there with fun girlie stuff that Mom disapproves of but then uses in the end (haha, the Clinique bag has yet to be picked over, so good timing there).
You guys are great, really, and here’s the big thank you you weren’t expecting but wholly deserve.

THANK YOU!

That was it? It meant more than it looked like, I promise.

But seriously, knowing that you have this great network of people who want to help you is pretty nice.

Also, too many people run red lights.
Simon is getting his oil changed today.