On Oven Mitts and Internet Shopping, Disappointedly

I’ve recently decided that I want to spend a bit more time making our house into an adorable home. So of course, that meant that I found myself sad and staring at an email announcing $5 magazine subscriptions and now I am happily subscribed to several design magazines. I’m hoping that exposure will slowly turn me into the cute, crafty, DIY-er I imagine I could someday be.

A few weeks ago, I purchased some lobster claw oven mitts. I was ridiculously excited. Why? I’m not sure. Now that I think about it, my expectations may have been unrealistically high. I mean, lobster claw oven mitts are most likely going to be a guaranteed letdown, like funnel cake or concerts.

They arrived. I tore open the package, thinking “Lobster claws!” And then I put one on. The material was not necessarily sub-par, but also not nearly as commanding as I had imagined. The mitt itself is not as red or bright, more like faded t-shirt your mom sewed into the shape of a lobster claw because you needed something to wear for Halloween….20 years ago.

It’s cool, though. I can get down with the mediocre claw.

And then I put on the other one. My worst fears were realized. (I actually did think about this before I purchased them online.) The other mitt was also a right-handed mitt. The logical solution would be to turn it around and use it on your left hand, but there’s an uncomfortable bunching at the innermost point of the claw that puts an undue amount of pressure on the space between the thumb and index finger.

So…I’m less excited. I imagined myself wearing an apron and holding big roasting pans with my perfectly fitted lobster-claw oven mitts. Instead, I’m now imagining sharing the mitts with a friend – does this mean I’ll begin cooking meals? – and then high-fiving jubilantly. That’s all I’m going to get. So I’m going to make the best of it.


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About kb

free spirit, lover of red wine, bacon, sushi, the ocean, and adventure. I work in the legal field, do freelance writing, and take care of children.

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