On Remembering

I found it! I found the poem I was looking for!
It’s unedited, exactly as it was when I wrote it.
I just absolutely love love love this poem. It’s so apathetic. It’s everything that seventeen-year old me was. The ending gets me every time. Pause as you read it. Pause and really let the end sink into your soul. (Maybe it won’t work for you; I don’t know. But just try it.)

I need to remind readers that this poem has absolutely nothing to do with my current romantic partner situation.

Oh man, now I want to find the “Still Life” poem. I just spent like ten minutes digging through my old journal. It’s funny how much I’ve grown, and funnier still how much remains the same. I became friends with a girl who’d gone to Mullen, although she was much older than me, and she became my biggest supporter during those awkward teenage years. She believed in my writing and I’m so grateful for that, because without her positive input, I may not have had the courage to keep doing it. We keep in touch on facebook now, and I don’t know that I’ve ever been able to really tell her how much it meant to me that she read everything I wrote. She’s off getting her doctorate and living a wild and beautiful life in Australia, but it’s funny how much we are still able to share even if it’s just through “likes” and comments.

“Remember”
originally posted January 11, 2006


I remember you.
I remember the first time
you said “I love you.” 
I had forgotten
until today.
Sitting in the park last night, 
on a shadowed log
amidst the winter grass
while she remembered 
memories she should’ve never had
I flashed back. 
I took a picture of the spot
where I was standing
when it hit me
late that summer night
and I first felt the sensations 
roll over me.
but enough
I’d like to leave it there.
Later, not long forgotten
we were side by side
tangled in a sweet release
and you kissed my forehead
in that way 
that you knew drove me crazy 
and you whispered it.
I tensed
as silence filled the room
what was I to say
to someone I didn’t love?
I sighed 
and kissed your hand
and rolled over
and let you hold me
until it was over
and I didn’t have to say 
anything anymore.

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